Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
