i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
