Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?

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(256): View more from Alabama

As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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(410): View more from Maryland

she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

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(740): View more from Ohio

Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

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(214): View more from Texas

decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

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(914): View more from New York

i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

(1-914): View more from New York

oh right the one that ends on your bed

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(203): View more from Connecticut

A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back

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(813): View more from Florida

She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.

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