I need help removing her.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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