Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
