so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
