Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
