It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
