what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
