i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
