yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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