So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
