I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
