It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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