I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
