420 ftw
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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