just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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