Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
