I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
