we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
