i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
