I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
