You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
