it hurts more in the daytime
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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