so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
