i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
