I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
