You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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