woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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