i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
