she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
