Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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