I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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