Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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