Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you never un-have a 4some
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
