Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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