I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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