In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
