The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
