Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
