Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
