I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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