Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
