Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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