Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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