You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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