Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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