Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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