Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
