Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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